Post by sindaril on Sept 17, 2019 15:27:13 GMT
Thread title. It's been fun, folks, and I had a lotta great moments with cool events, but there's just nothing for me here anymore. Literally less than five people in Otogakure at any moment can usually demotivate anyone, but the way uniques are handled, crossed out despite nobody having 'em because someone might, down the line, somewhere make a DR of a clan, getting so endlessly closer to wipe end? Permanently slashing them in the red or yellow, the rogue plot that feels like a b-grade saturday morning cartoon.
I can handle a little slowdown, rejection, whatever, but holy shit. No offense to admins in general, but this just feels like its run its course, on top of the rogue plot having basically murdered Otogakure. ''Leave it,'' might've been an option if it didn't feel like completely anti-thetical to that entire arc, but staying entails logging on to an empty-ass village. Maybe it'll come across to some as being whiny or bitchy or mad because something I applied for got denied, but its whatever. If anything, it's the straw that broke the camel's back.
I could stay if there was something I could feel like I was working towards, feel like I was making a difference or had a choice but it aint feel like nothing matters, it just feels like an inevitable railroad chugging along and I'm sittin' in it wonderin how the hell to get out. It occurs to me I could get out by just not playing, because it's not fun and everything just feels poorly handled. I had a ton of fun early, even mid-wipe, but now I struggle to think why I even show up except for a couple points now and again.
Which brings me to that point, commendations. Hollllly shit. Cool moments that all go to the strongest characters, always, inevitably, because they make the cool moments. Only commendations my weak-lil ass ever got was after ya'll reminded players commendations existed, from people who were really cool in the moment, or an eventmin. Bonus points barely even exist, feels more like I earned the ability to have the chance to buy one extra jutsu that week, woweeewow.
For some positive stuff, though, lotta players did lotta cooler things because of some rule of cool stuff, but got super gay pretty much the same. I really liked a lot of the characters I interacted with or tried to, as some folks really put thought for them there and made me feel like I knew 'em fictional or not, and made me strive to try to be a lil better, bit by bit. Hell, I feel bad because it feels like I've been given a 'role' in some story, but I just can't pick up that piece because of how demotivated I am.
It gets worse when you only got 3 people to interact with at all, every day, logging in, casual rp, log out, if the day's lucky. I played Nami, so if you were looking to still do something or whatever, well, I'm sorry. I really am. But I can't bring myself to keep logging in for the slimmest hope of rp and be stuck in what feels like a complete rut, no matter what direction I go.
Don't take this too personally, though. Just..my rambling thoughts on what amounts to 'Why do I log in if this just feels like a chore?'
So, yeah. unrelated but i am a rabid pidgey, and this is this wild pidgey appearing just to say see you next wipe and have a good day.